Relapse is often seen as a setback or failure in the journey of recovery. For many, it can evoke feelings of shame, guilt, and disappointment. However, it is important to reframe our understanding of relapse. Rather than being viewed as the end of progress, relapse can be an opportunity for reflection, learning, and ultimately building resilience. Recovery is a process, not a single event, and setbacks are often part of that process.
What is Relapse?
Relapse refers to the return to substance use after a period of abstinence. It can occur at various stages of recovery and can happen for different reasons. While it may seem like a single moment or event, relapse is often a gradual process that begins long before the actual act of using. Recognising the warning signs early can be key to preventing a full relapse.
There are generally three stages of relapse:
- Emotional relapse – In this stage, individuals may not be actively thinking about using substances, but their emotions and behaviours may set them up for it. Signs can include isolation, neglecting self-care, or bottling up emotions.
To counter emotional relapse, it’s essential to prioritise self-care and emotional well-being. Activities such as journaling, practising mindfulness, or talking to someone you trust can help manage emotions before they escalate. Engaging in regular exercise, maintaining a balanced diet, and ensuring adequate sleep can also improve overall mood and resilience. If you feel overwhelmed, reaching out to a recovery coach or support group can provide guidance and encouragement.
- Mental relapse – During this phase, a person starts to experience conflicting thoughts about using. They may romanticise past use, think about opportunities to use, or struggle with cravings.
To manage mental relapse, it helps to actively challenge thoughts that romanticise substance use by focusing on the negative consequences of past behaviour. Engaging in distraction techniques, such as going for a walk, calling a supportive friend, or practising mindfulness, can also be effective. Building mental resilience involves recognising these thoughts early and redirecting attention towards recovery goals. Working with a recovery coach can provide tools and strategies tailored to overcoming mental relapse.
- Physical relapse – This is when the individual uses the substance again. While this may feel like a significant setback, it’s important to remember that all is not lost. Recovery is still possible with the right support and a shift in mindset back towards healing. Rather than focusing on the slip, individuals can use this moment as a turning point to strengthen their commitment to recovery.
To move forward from a physical relapse, take immediate steps to reconnect with your recovery plan. Reach out to your support network—whether it’s a trusted friend, family member, therapist, or recovery coach—who can offer encouragement and help you refocus. Reflect on what led to the relapse and identify strategies to address similar situations in the future. Remember, each step back can serve as a powerful learning experience, and with perseverance, you can continue building a strong foundation for long-term recovery.
The Difference Between Lapse and Relapse
It is important to distinguish between a lapse and a relapse, as they represent different experiences in recovery. A lapse is a temporary slip or single instance of substance use, after which a person is able to regain control and continue their recovery. A relapse, on the other hand, involves a return to regular substance use and often requires more significant intervention to get back on track.
Think of a lapse as sticking your toes in the water to test it out. You might realise that the water is too cold or uncomfortable, prompting you to pull your foot back out quickly. Similarly, during a lapse, an individual may briefly return to substance use but quickly recognise that it doesn’t align with their goals and values, allowing them to step back into their recovery. A relapse, however, is more akin to jumping into the water and staying there for a while before deciding to get out.
By understanding this distinction, individuals and their support systems can avoid overreacting to a lapse and instead focus on using it as a learning opportunity.
Learning from Relapse
Relapse can provide valuable insights into what triggers substance use and what changes might be necessary to strengthen one’s recovery. By treating relapse as an opportunity to learn, individuals can better understand their vulnerabilities and develop strategies to address them.
Here are some steps to take after a relapse:
- Acknowledge the relapse without judgment
It’s important to approach relapse with self-compassion rather than self-criticism. Judging oneself harshly can lead to a cycle of shame and further use. Instead, acknowledge what happened and recognise that it doesn’t erase the progress made. - Identify triggers
Reflect on the circumstances that led to the relapse. Was it stress, loneliness, a specific environment, or certain emotions? Understanding these triggers helps in creating a plan to avoid or cope with them in the future. - Reach out for support
Relapse can feel isolating, but reaching out to a trusted friend, therapist, or support group can provide encouragement and guidance. Support networks play a crucial role in maintaining long-term recovery. Working with a recovery coach can be particularly beneficial, as they offer personalised support, accountability, and practical strategies tailored to individual needs. - Revise your recovery plan
Recovery plans are not static; they need to evolve as circumstances change. After a relapse, it might be helpful to add new coping strategies or revisit activities that promote well-being, such as mindfulness, exercise, or creative hobbies.
Building Resilience
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. In the context of recovery, it means being able to navigate setbacks without giving up on long-term goals. Building resilience involves:
- Developing coping skills: Practise healthy ways to manage stress, such as journaling, meditation, or talking to someone.
- Strengthening your support system: Surround yourself with people who understand your journey and can offer encouragement.
- Fostering a growth mindset: See challenges as opportunities to grow rather than insurmountable obstacles. Each experience, including relapse, can contribute to personal development.
Moving Forward
Relapse does not define a person’s recovery. It is a common part of the process, and many individuals go on to lead fulfilling lives after experiencing setbacks. What matters most is how one responds to relapse. By approaching it as a learning experience and using it to strengthen one’s recovery efforts, individuals can build the resilience needed to sustain long-term sobriety.
Remember, recovery is a journey of progress, not perfection. Relapse may be a step back, but it can also be a step towards greater self-awareness and strength. With the right support—whether from friends, family, or a dedicated recovery coach—the path forward can be navigated more confidently and successfully.